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Dec. 24th, 2006 @ 01:23 pm
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I'm pissed. Just need to say that. |
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I feel like I'm losing my mind. the last few days I was ready to drive my car off a cliff, and now I'm happy for no apparent reason. I just don't understand it. I've had a horrible headache all day, yet I feel happy. I'm worried about crashing back down to unhappiness so I am unable to enjoy the happiness. I don't know. I'm just really confused right now, and tired of waiting, waiting for him to decide what he wants, but does what I want matter? I don't know, maybe I need ot just get busy and do something. Blah |
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BLah
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Dec. 13th, 2006 @ 06:28 pm
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I just feel blah right now. Went out last night with some friends and had a great time, but all day its just been back to reality. I just feel so down I don't know what to do, and thats a scary feeling, but at the same time, I don't care. Things are just moving way too fast and I feel like I need to get off this rollercoaster, whatever that might mean. I don't want to talk about it, because it hurts, but I do at the same time because I don't know what else to do. Maybe I just need some sleep... |
I took ki to coldstone today and it was fun. We talked and stuff, and totally enjoyed our ice cream. I haven't been there in over 6 months, so it was really yummy.
Anyways, thats what I did today after work. Work was okay... we got busy, but I got to do the shipment upload!!! It went well. But anyways, I'm hungry. I'm gonna eat my dinner now. |
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Oct. 22nd, 2006 @ 09:01 am
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I feel crappy and like my life is taking a turn I am not comfortable with. Maybe I deserve it. |
| » Sometimes you just wanna be left alone.... |
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I hate depending on my family for a place to live, because it just sucks. My parents get all pissed at me when my house isn't perfectly clean, and that pisses me off. I have a job, and so does Brad, there aren't 2 of us home all day to clean everything, and sometimes when you get home from work, you want to go to sleep. Like last night, I went to bed at 7 because I had a bad headache, and I don't feel good. Maybe I am being a PMSing Bitch, but I don't care.
I'm tired of people telling me what to do. I'm an adult, living on my own, I have my own life, so leave me alone. I'm sure dad means well, but sometimes he makes me want to drive my car into a semi headon on the freeway, but whatever. There's always so much drama, and I want that drama to stop. If I don't call him for a week, he thinks I'm mad and has a sitdown talk. I work outside my house, I have stuff to do, I'm always so tired, just leave me alone. Sometimes I feel I don't have anyone to talk to but this stupid journal, and I can't use myspact because too many people read it, then word will get around (my whole falmily practically is on myspace, its nice and everything to keep in touch, but thimes when I need to vent, I don't dare there anymore.)
To all my friends there on my birthday, thank you, it really meant a lot for you to be there. I kinda freaked out a little that day, probably should have had more to drink, but I still have that weird social phobia thing, but only with people I know, like family.
Anyways, feeling a little better since I got that out, sorry for all the pessimism
Oct. 19th, 2006 @ 10:58 am
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| » (No Subject) |
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| You Are The Moon | 
You represent the unconscious side of life, what happens in dreams.
You are capable of great genius - but also of great madness.
Emotions tend to be primal for you, both your fears and your fantasies.
Your intuition is always right, listening to it is the difficult part.
Your fortune:
You are about to embark on a very important journey - and a very difficult one.
Some of your deepest dreams will be realized, as well as some of your deepest nightmares.
Follow your creativity and visions; stay away from your weaknesses.
You are taking a voyage to the center of yourself, and you may be pleasantly surprised by what you discover. |
Oct. 8th, 2006 @ 12:38 pm
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| » I'm sad, and don't know why |
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I woke up with this weird feeling in the back of my mind, like my life didn't matter, and I was ruining other peoples futures. That is a really scary feeling.
I don't know whats wrong with me, maybe I'll talk to Brad later when I get home from work. Maybe I'm jsut feeling lonely or something. I don't know.
Sep. 27th, 2006 @ 07:44 am
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| » I'm Back! |
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Well, sorta. it seems that everyone has migrated back to livejournal, and I finally hacked into my account so that I could use it again. yay!
Nothing much new here, just waiting for brad to come home.. There's a fire in the eucalyptus grove on 101 so it took me an hour to get home, hopefully traffic has cleared out by now.
Laters!
Amanda
Sep. 12th, 2006 @ 05:21 pm
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